再过一个月就结束了

全力冲刺！
high honor!
SATII!
All State!
CORNELLCORNELLCORNELLCORNELL..................
减肥！今天开始no零食，糖。。（except my damn sweet yogurt...:( )
:)

ai

dont know how to express my feelings... the computer is so slow too... ai i m so confused.. wt should I write for my personal statement? How can I get a balance btw fun and work? I m soooo messed up...from tmr i reli need a daily timetable! Lets do it :) Bertha U can do it.

SAT >2300!
ACT>34!
SATII 5 subjects >700!
TOEFL 118!
yeahyeahyeah gayau ~~~~~

存在价值

马陆让我再次思考我生存的意义是什么。。
好像从来没有让我觉得做得完美的事。。
我已经不能再说出安慰自己的话了。。
因为每一次都发现自己根本没努力，（还说神马自己很努力啊。。傻B白痴厚脸皮）
每一次都让妈生气，让爸心痛。。
我真希望做到让他们非常引以为荣的事。。
老师说我真的很想上电视，我很喜欢别人的注视，不知道什么时候开始我已经对其他人任何的批评免疫了，
我很想像林雪，仲基那样看上去很完美，可是我没有付出与他们同等的汗水。
天父啊！求你不断引导我努力向上，我说过要努力很多遍了，可是口说无凭。。
一大堆暑假计划，一定要好好完成。
老是觉得存在感太低，我要成为焦点！让所有人都夸奖我，不管付出那样的努力。
我不怕任何事，最怕失去爱我的人，无论是家人，朋友，还是其他人
毫无眷恋？！说真的我习惯了孤单。
也许我永远无法粉碎那道在我和别人之间的无形的墙，
可是为了生存，我要讨好所有人，我要收藏自己所有真正的情感，在处事做一个专业的演员：）
忍！！！！！！！！万事保持冷静开朗，经常带着阳光笑容~

to be or not to be

actually no one cares if I am alive or not...
everything I did was just disappointing...
I don't see anything with happiness...I just screwed up everything...
nothing is really important for me because I am just invisible.
I pay efforts but there were never results...
how stupid m I?how unfortunate m I?
wt is the purpose of life, I wonder...
..........
.................................
..............................................

我跟你说了多少遍要专心，付全力！！！！

说了多少遍了。。。自讨苦吃
没努力是不会得到什么的。。。
今年结果是什么？压力大为理由，长胖了很多。。
现在又在吃东西了。
你哪里努力过了？现在这样你开心么？
加油吧。。
你没有别人聪明，可是所有人都可以努力的。
暑假做好所有要做的事情。
这已经是你最后的机会了

so finally you learnt a thing

Don't be silly. 你没有小智那样机灵和幸运，努力和专心才是你应该做的事。。。
不能靠运气，不要裸考，不要分心。
记着，唯一人家不能拿走的就是你的知识。
努力过后总会有效果。

en

今天心情特别差。。。成绩巨烂无比。。。可是有一种奇妙的感觉。。。觉得对男生有感觉真好：）虽然无缘无份，但是每天看到他都觉得开心。^^哎我要好好学韩语！！！

ok tomorrow is the grand day

hey bertha dont give up.. Just for a few more hours and then u r gonna take the fucking AP test and have freedom hahaha~~~add oil... You need to be as good as the guys u has a crush on now(Andrew hehehehe)...library becomes my place....the only place that I see him...Ivy league yoyoyo !!! Columbia Yale Wellesley Standford gogogo

after AP chemistry

你知道你今天考的有多烂，你知道你今天吃了多少卡路里，你还想重蹈覆澈么？
不能再那么失败了。fall term 的你在哪里？
好好努力学习呀。。就只剩下三个礼拜而已。。

不要放弃，这个term一定要比winter考的好：）加油清雅！要学习酱油和亲爱的清雅啊
不要求不断学习，只要求高效率，高专注力

omg.

I am not afraid of failing./
I must convince myself that I need more improvements.
I AM NOT WORKING  HARD ENOUGH.
It is SO important not to waster money, esp when I broke my Macbook.
My God, I wish I can do anything to make things better. TO MAKE MY PARENTS HAPPY>
I know I didn't get leadership posts tht I want, but I wish I can try again and again
ADD OIL BERTHA:)

feels terrible.

miserable.puzzled.where should I go? What's my priority? Viola,Piano,Voice, what should I choose? God, help me. Guide me to the right direction!

FINISH HISTORY PAPER NOW!!!

LOSE WEIGHT>.< YOUR PANTS DONT FIT YOU ANYMORE

dont let ur emotion in charge of ur life

i m busy this week, 4 tests and a paper.. Tests r done and they are all bad. I feel so regret, and it also means I dont concentrate enough. I am even lazier than I was in fall term. Failure cant be repeated again and again.

I NEED TO CHANGE! BE THE BEST OF ALL!

I didn't put my best effort on things. I shouldn't compare myself with Crystal, but she sets an example for me to do better and DO MY BEST! I have a lot of things to do this year, the busy junior year. I chose to challenge myself in taking harder classes, and I am confident to do the best in all of them, not just for myself but also for my family. I am so glad to be with my family, and they give me support. Dad, I don't want you to be sad. Please pray for me to work as hard as I can. I can work anytime and God please teach me how to allocate time efficiently. I can't be the one I am now. I need to finish my essay immediately and move on on SAT subject tests, SAT I and Science Olympiad.

dont be upset about a moment of loneliness

ya that is the right way. shouldnt be affected just by one person. Walk away if nothing changes good. You need to meet more people. only Real friends last long.

KEEP GOING>DONT LOSE YOUR FOCUS LIKE LAST YEAR.

nothing is worse than wasting your time.

dont think too much

havent been thinking about personal relationships for a long time. Actually it is not a great deal. I know I face many failures and obstacles, JUST PERFORM YOUR BEST SELF! You have been paying a lot of hard work this year. You should keep going and Be confident. STAY FOCUSED ON ACADEMICS AND CONTROL YOUR TEMPER AND BE FRIENDLY!:)

Failure is not all.

不能再因為失敗而沮喪。 成功不是一朝一夕， 要好好努力。我需要的努力比別人更多，所以一定要不怕辛苦。我不能讓爸爸媽媽失望，爸爸負擔很大而且現在家裡環境不好，要好好孝順他們。加油＋不能忘記無論什麼時候都要付出才有收獲